(honestly) like 3 accounts that serve in my eras. My first account was in what I called “the beginning of a new era,” where I first discovered RPW as a means of curiosity. My first account back then was full of dummy accounts. They do roleplay in a way of posting random information like threads, joining sbh or bh, or just posting in search of relationships. Basically, my experience with my first account was horrible and far from the idea of “roleplaying.” On my second account, I didn’t have the idea that there was another RPW and that was known to be ANIRP or anime roleplay, in a sense. That very second account, I learned how to roleplay, starting from the opening message of your port like: “*/“ for your port’s response. At that time, I portrayed Shinobu Kochō, an insect hashira in Demon Slayer of the Demon Slayer Corps so I think it is obvious that I roleplayed in a scope of Kimetsu no Yaiba, but I wasn’t delimited in other anime roleplayer. For my last account, this, Elif Loewe, a writing account. This account is probably the most freeing I could have. I can post or not write work. I can interact as much as I do. In other words, this account, which is going to be my last account, is liberating. However, in all my three accounts and eras, I have observed one thing, in ways we don’t expect or even don’t notice: we are all performing here. 

 

Let me first define what I meant in the word “performing.” By definition, performing is the act of doing something for the audience. In that very direct definition, that is the same with what I meant. You might be asking in what specific way? Posting itself is already performative. Admit it or not it is, but only to a specific extent. You share a quick update about your work. You do a role play in the comment section. Even writing this essay is performative. Everything here in RPW is performative since we act accordingly against what we normally do because there is satisfaction in it. There is a rush in it, and that idea or doing so is what makes it performative. 

 

While I believe in this notion: to perform is an act of entertaining oneself, I also firmly believe that we do it with a specific intention. Maybe we do it to make it seen, interacted with, or—in the field of writing—read, but another performative nature in RPW comes from how we carefully curate what we post. We choose specific words, aesthetics, timing—even moods—to fit a certain image or provoke a certain reaction. That process of selection is a form of performance. It’s not always spontaneous or natural; it’s calculated to match the persona we want to present.  You can observe this in how people often change their captions many times, pick certain pictures, or wait for the “right” time to post. These choices show that we’re thinking about who will see it. Posting isn’t just about sharing, I later learned, it is also a means of performing in a way that fits how we want others to see us.

 

Another thing I’ve noticed over the years is how we often change ourselves slightly with each account or era. Not just in character, but in how we present, express, and engage. For me, each account becomes like our stage, and we try on different versions of ourselves depending on who we’re surrounded by or what the atmosphere of the space is. Mind you, we’re not the same writer or person in every kind of RPWs; I am neither. And that quiet shift is a kind of performing too, even if it feels natural. It is because we are shaped by the audience we imagine reading us.

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Performing in RPW is neither a bad thing nor a good thing. It is just that we act in ways we don’t notice. And that is what makes it interesting. Sometimes we play a part on purpose. Other times, it just happens. To me, it feels a bit strange, but also kind of right and there’s something freeing about that. We get to try out different sides of ourselves, specifically the ones we don’t usually show in real life. But it can also feel a little scary. After the roleplay ends, you might wonder, “Was that really me, or just the character I made up? Maybe both. Maybe that’s the whole point. The line between pretending and being real gets blurry in RPW. And through it, we learn more about who we are, or who we could be.